Ways To Cope in a Long Distance DDLG Relationship

In this era, we can do just about anything from the comfort of our own homes.

We can order pizzas, watch new movies, buy clothes – and we can find people.

Online dating has been growing and continues to grow as a viable way for people to find others that they can interact with and form meaningful, lasting relationships with without necessarily being in the same city.

Or even the same hemisphere.

Long distance relationships (or LDRs, for short) can be very rewarding yet are often very difficult relationships to maintain.

Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also place a wedge between those involved.  

However, all hope isn’t lost! There are plenty of activities you and your significant other can do together, even when you are far apart, that can help to build a lasting bond! Here are some ways to keep in contact and keep your dynamic going, even when you can’t be together, physically.

Voice and Video Calls

There are plenty of apps you can use on your computer or on your phone to keep in touch.  

With Skype, WhatsApp, Google Hangouts and Discord (my preferred method) at the forefront of online communications, you can use these apps to engage in voice or video calls.

Sometimes just being able to see your loved one or hear their voice can keep those sad feelings at bay.

voice & video call
voice & video call

If either one of you, or both of you, have busy schedules, a good way to work around time constraints is to set up a specific time every week as a routine and anything else is just extra time that you manage to make for each other.

That way there is less chance of disappointment.


Watch Things Together

Using Discord or rabb.it, you can stream or screen share Netflix, YouTube, Crunchyroll, or even just something you’ve downloaded… just about anything you can watch online – and be able to voice chat at the same time!

Watch Things Together
Watch Things Together

That way it is as if you are watching it together.

No more of the infernal countdown and lag that leaves one partner ahead of the other with constant pausing and catching up!


Assignments and Tasks

Assigning tasks can be helpful to ensure that the Dominant is able to be in that role of caregiver and guide.

It can also ensure that the submissive takes care of the things they need to do on a daily basis.

Assignments and Tasks
Assignments and Tasks

Having a way to reward with positive reinforcement can help to solidify this.

Work together to come up with a schedule that will make the Dom feel like they are making a difference and the sub feel like their Dom has a hand in their life.

Using an online chart is especially helpful if you are too busy to voice chat or video chat daily!


Long Distance Sex Toys

If you miss sexual intimacy with your significant other, phone sex, video sex and mutual masturbation are all very useful in a LDR.

If you both enjoy impact play, the Dom or sub could purchase a paddle or flogger so that the Dom can give instructions that the submissive will follow while in a voice or video call, or while making video or sound clips.

Pink Heart Flogger – $19.99 incl. shipping from Littlespace.life

Shibari more your thing? Purchase rope. Spend some time watching tutorials and working on simple ties together on cam.

10 m Cotton Shibari Rope – $15.95 with free shipping from Littlespace.life

If you both enjoy sex toys with a control factor, there are wonderful distance sex toys that you can both use that sync up to an app through your wifi. My personal favourite is the Lovense line of toys. Powerful and very interactive, they work especially well if you have a bit of an exhibitionist streak and like to be teased or tease your significant other discreetly in public.


Visits

This may not be something that everyone has the chance to do as travel can be expensive, depending on where you need to go.

If you are within the same country or continent, it is a much more viable option.

Try seeing if there are cheaper means of transport, like a charter bus or a train system that can get you from point A to point B, or to a place you can both meet up in the middle.

If you’re going to need a plane to get to your loved one, try to work on saving the money up for a trip.

It could be a short visit for the first time, and then build up to longer visits over time. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it and really put in the effort and hard work!


Care Packages

This is something that can be super sweet and a nice surprise for your partner.

Over time, gather some awesome little items for a care package.

It should include some things that are local to you that your partner may not be able to get where they are from, and of course, things that you know they are interested in, enjoy, and do not have.

If your partner is far away, make sure not to make the package too heavy unless you are okay with and capable of paying larger shipping costs.

If you can’t really afford to buy lots of things, you can always make items for your significant other, or just write them a letter telling them how much you appreciate their presence in your life and shower them with handwritten love and affection.

Being apart doesn’t have to mean growing apart.

A simple text message in the morning and before bed can be enough to let your other half know you are there for them and thinking about them during your busy day.

So try not to focus on the distance  because there are plenty of ways to grow together.